The Gun Pointed at the Head of the Universe

JOSH 2012

The Joint Services Open House/Airshow was yesterday. It was just as good as it ever is, and I didn’t go officially with CAP, so I didn’t have to be in uniform and I didn’t have to work, which was a relief. I got to hang out with Ali, Frater, and a guy from my ROTC unit which was a lot of fun. We saw a ton of aircraft both on the ground and in the air, notably a Harrier, Osprey, F-22, B-2, and the Blue Angels. Unreal. Just jaw dropping. The B-2 stole the show in my opinion. It’s super rare, very secret, and not paraded around very much. Never seen one in person before, so seeing it fly so close was insane.

Of course, the real stuff was found tucked in a hangar with the SOCOM guys: Army SF (Green Berets), Rangers, Combat Controllers, Pararescuemen, Marine SOF guys, and my SEALs.

I didn’t talk much with any Rangers, SF, or Marine guys. The lines in front of all their tables were pretty long, but the SEAL and Combat Control guys knew my face pretty well by the end of the day. I had two really great conversations with a SEAL and a Combat Controller. We talked guns, gear, lifestyle, training, and they both took me really seriously, which I really like. They get tired of telling people raised on Call of Duty how to properly hold a weapon and make sure it’s safe. They appreciated not needing to babysit Frater and myself.

The SEALs had a little sign that said “Please ask before handling” on the gun table and the guy got tired of me asking if he minded. “You obviously know what you’re doing,” he laughed. The Combat Control guy was joking about me switching into Air Force to be one of their officers. “Whichever you decide to do though, you seem pretty well off.” With regards to my body type, he goes, “You’re certainly built for it.” 

I like to think so XD

Both guys were totally boss. So were the other ones I talked to. I never actually told the SEALs there that I wanted to be a SEAL, but I think they probably knew by the time I walked away. At least, that’s my hope.

I wonder all the time about certain people. “I wish I would exercise more.” “I wish I would get back to learning X instrument/I wish I would just practice more.” “I wish I was more patient.” “I wish I could stop smoking.” “I wish I would start eating better.”

I have never struggled with anything of this nature before. To me, I don’t answer to my circumstances. Circumstances answer to me. I make myself into the person I want to be. In a sense it’s classic mind over matter: if you don’t mind, it don’t matter. Moreover, if I want badly enough to eat better, stop smoking, practice music more, I just do it. Nike knows. Just DO IT.

But not everyone lives like that. My brother Josh pointed out to me one time (on the subject of quitting addictive habits, like dipping), “Me, you? People like us, if we wanted to stop dipping, we’d just put the tin down and never touch it. Now, we have to reach the point where we make that decision, but sticking to it isn’t the hard part.”

I never realized how right he is. I can’t make it through, say, APJOC on sheer will power when I am severely dehydrated and can’t run without getting intense cramping all over my body. But I can choose to return, train harder, prepare better, and not bend to the whims of circumstance. If I see something I don’t like, I fix it. 

I don’t answer to circumstances. They answer to me.

So when I see people, not to be mean but “bitching” about stuff like that, I honestly have no sympathy for them. My man Jon Foreman would say, “This is your life. Are you who you wanna be?” 

If you are, good. If you’re not, what are you waiting for?